Held captive by his carers for four weeks, let’s look at Boris Johnson’s best bits | Marina Hyde

Barring applying to join a sex cult, we must conclude there is no process as rigorous as the Tory leadership election

T-minus five days off a likely Boris Johnson premiership, I would like to thank all the Conservatives who explained exactly why putting us through the stone-cold shitshow of a campaign was so essential. It was important, these red-trousered political scientists all told us, because the process allowed the candidates to be properly tested. It didn’t happen last time, and look how that turned out.

Preach. Had we gone through the whole rigmarole in 2016, we might have found out about teenage Theresa May’s Betamax crop-circle habit before it was too late. Or that, if asked to state a preference between Midsomer Murders and Sherlock, May would one day simply reply, “I’ve watched both.” Instead, what happened, happened. I guess you don’t make that magnitude of mistake twice.

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Read more: theguardian.com